Trust Yourself First by Doris Sew Hoy

 

Trust Yourself First: Cultivating Self-Awareness, Confidence and Resilience

Doris Sew Hoy

New Degree Press 2022

200 pages, paperback £12 (UK)

ISBN 979-8-88504-078-5 (pb)

The enforced isolation of the Covid lockdown forced many of us to re-examine our lives. It also gave us time to complete projects we had only dreamed of. Doris Sew Hoy did both.

She has written a book, 

Trust Yourself First, 

which incorporates what 

she has learned in her twin 

careers as an economist 

and as a freelance 

executive coach.

Trust Yourself First is about cultivating healthy relationships through trust. It also passes on what Doris has learned about clear thinking, thought-leadership, connecting with yourself and harnessing your full personality. She also shares the most useful tools, techniques and models that have helped her coaching clients develop their potential, both professionally and personally.

Doris Sew Hoy is a direct descendant of the famous Otago Chinese merchant and gold dredger, Choie Sew Hoy (1838-1901) – he was her grandfather’s grandfather. She was born at Outram in New Zealand. There her father, Jun Yip Sew Hoy, and mother, Lai Kum Hong, ran a market garden on the Taieri Plains and raised seven high-achieving children.

Qualifying for a year as a American Field Service Scholar in a St Louis, Missouri high school, was the first step in a journey that led Doris to a degree in economics at Otago University and post-graduate study at Durham University. She worked as an economist for the London Stock Exchange from 1986. A new door opened for Doris when she realised that many in the stock exchange lacked understanding of how the business actually worked.

‘I was getting annoyed at the number of times I had to correct people’s misinformation and misunderstandings.’  Appointed to a position where she was responsible for educating, informing and motivating people, Doris developed her ideas about the coaching of executives and undertook further study and research.

Trust Yourself First is a clearly written summary of what she has learned about human behaviours, emotions and interactions in the two decades she has spent as a freelance executive coach.   

Doris unpacks her professional toolbox and demonstrates the various techniques, mind-maps  and exercises she has found most effective in enabling people to examine their lives.  Each chapter offers readers a chance to examine their own actions and feelings, ambitions and uncertainties, from a fresh perspective.

The text is arranged in three main sections following her ACB model of personal growth and change..

Part 1, Awareness, invites readers to examine themselves and look at who they are and how they got there

Part 2, Choices, looks at the options facing us, our own strengths and weaknesses, the values we hold and the outcomes we hope for.  

Part 3, Behave, asks us what we intend to do when we have finished reading the book. Are we going to learn from the exercises? Will we change our attitudes and revise our priorities? How can we improve our communication skills, gain a better understanding of our emotions and live a healthier life?

This is not a dull text-book. This may sound daunting in summary but Doris keeps things clear and well-organised as she moves through the various exercises. Doris intersperses her teaching points with her own experiences so that her lively personality becomes an integral part of the book.

Trust Yourself First is an interesting and challenging book with a readable style and a big message.

Or as Doris, herself puts it, “I hope my book inspires you to reflect on your own life and where you want to go next, become your own best friend and cultivate the relationships you would like in your life.”

 Website: Trust Yourself First Book | Doris Sew Hoy

 ISBN 979-8-88504-078-5 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88504-707-4 (Kindle Ebook)

ISBN 979-8-88504-186-7 (Digital Ebook)

 

 

 

This is Farewell: Readings and Meditiations  on Death and Dying

Pinky Agnew (ed)

Mrs Black Books (2023)

Paperback, 196 pages, NZ$35 plus p&p

ISBN 9-788-47365-826-7

 

We are all going to die. We are also all going to be involved with funerals. Publishers, however, shy away from books about death, so there is a definite lack of useful books for those who suddenly find themselves desperate for the right word to say as they farewell a loved one.

I was blessed with three enormously talented sisters. The youngest – Pinky Agnew – has excelled as a writer, actor and comedian but her true forte is as a celebrant. She has a flair for the right word at the right time as she helps people mark the key moments in their lives. She was not only aware of the dearth of anthologies dealing with death, but she did something about putting matters right. This is Farewell is the result.

Drawing together material she has been gathering for years Pinky has created an anthology of thoughts about our final farewell. In poetry and prose people down the centuries have expressed their deepest feelings of grief, anger, resignation and acceptance when someone they loved has died. The result is timeless and moving. Their words speak to us as we encounter similar painful situations, and they help us to order our own thoughts.

While many of the selections are suitable for reading at funerals, tangi and memorial services, this anthology will earn a much wider readership, providing comfort and easing grief.

The arrangement of the collection is particularly useful. The reflections and poems are grouped by theme, so that the readings support and develop each other. Thus, Kelly Ana Morey’s poem about the death of her mother faces Bub Bridger’s farewell to her father.

Difficult areas such as suicide or the death of a child have strong collections with personal reflections and comforting perspectives.

The selection is wide-ranging in time and space. Many familiar voices are here (W.H. Auden, the King James Bible, along with fresh voices (Light a Candle by Paul Alexander) and surprising writers (Jo Jo Moyes, Joyce Grenfell!) each with their special insights. There is a strong New Zealand presence, as well, with Brian Turner, Lauris Edmond, Hone Tuwhare, Ruth Dallas, Glenn Colquhoun, Joy Cowley, James K. Baxter, Ruth Gilbert, Barry Crump and Ursula Bethell. Even Te Rangi Pai’s heart-stopping Hine E Hine is here, in both Maori and English.

This book’s production values are high. (Credit here to Christine Cessford and Sophie Miller.) The pages are a comfortable size while the print is clear and easy to read. The Acknowledgements section makes it simple to locate the sources quoted. Best of all there is a triple index, so you can search by title, first line or author’s name.

This is Farewell is, as they say, available from all good bookshops, or you can order it from Pinky Agnew herself.  Her website is www.pinkyagnew.com

 And why should we read these poems? Lemn Sissay, the official poet of the London Olympics, explains when he is given the honour of the last word on page 175:

“It’s incredibly moving seeing poems being read at these times of great importance – weddings and funerals. You walk around a graveyard and see poems engraved on tombstones. A person’s last message to the world. And why is that? Poems are the bridge between then and now. It’s around us all the time.”