This is Farewell: Readings and Meditiations  on Death and Dying

Pinky Agnew (ed)

Mrs Black Books (2023)

Paperback, 196 pages, NZ$35 plus p&p

ISBN 9-788-47365-826-7

 

We are all going to die. We are also all going to be involved with funerals. Publishers, however, shy away from books about death, so there is a definite lack of useful books for those who suddenly find themselves desperate for the right word to say as they farewell a loved one.

I was blessed with three enormously talented sisters. The youngest – Pinky Agnew – has excelled as a writer, actor and comedian but her true forte is as a celebrant. She has a flair for the right word at the right time as she helps people mark the key moments in their lives. She was not only aware of the dearth of anthologies dealing with death, but she did something about putting matters right. This is Farewell is the result.

Drawing together material she has been gathering for years Pinky has created an anthology of thoughts about our final farewell. In poetry and prose people down the centuries have expressed their deepest feelings of grief, anger, resignation and acceptance when someone they loved has died. The result is timeless and moving. Their words speak to us as we encounter similar painful situations, and they help us to order our own thoughts.

While many of the selections are suitable for reading at funerals, tangi and memorial services, this anthology will earn a much wider readership, providing comfort and easing grief.

The arrangement of the collection is particularly useful. The reflections and poems are grouped by theme, so that the readings support and develop each other. Thus, Kelly Ana Morey’s poem about the death of her mother faces Bub Bridger’s farewell to her father.

Difficult areas such as suicide or the death of a child have strong collections with personal reflections and comforting perspectives.

The selection is wide-ranging in time and space. Many familiar voices are here (W.H. Auden, the King James Bible, along with fresh voices (Light a Candle by Paul Alexander) and surprising writers (Jo Jo Moyes, Joyce Grenfell!) each with their special insights. There is a strong New Zealand presence, as well, with Brian Turner, Lauris Edmond, Hone Tuwhare, Ruth Dallas, Glenn Colquhoun, Joy Cowley, James K. Baxter, Ruth Gilbert, Barry Crump and Ursula Bethell. Even Te Rangi Pai’s heart-stopping Hine E Hine is here, in both Maori and English.

This book’s production values are high. (Credit here to Christine Cessford and Sophie Miller.) The pages are a comfortable size while the print is clear and easy to read. The Acknowledgements section makes it simple to locate the sources quoted. Best of all there is a triple index, so you can search by title, first line or author’s name.

This is Farewell is, as they say, available from all good bookshops, or you can order it from Pinky Agnew herself.  Her website is www.pinkyagnew.com

 And why should we read these poems? Lemn Sissay, the official poet of the London Olympics, explains when he is given the honour of the last word on page 175:

“It’s incredibly moving seeing poems being read at these times of great importance – weddings and funerals. You walk around a graveyard and see poems engraved on tombstones. A person’s last message to the world. And why is that? Poems are the bridge between then and now. It’s around us all the time.”